the chalk walk.

This picture was the first one to make me think (yell loudly in my head), "I want to live in New York!" I saw it months ago and then forgot about it until I found it again a couple weeks ago. 

I suppose you could make colourful footprints anywhere, but Katie lives in Brooklyn and she's the one who did this "Chalk Walk," prompting me to dream of brownstones, skyscrapers, and yellow cabs.

(Photo: Katie Sokoler)

words for the weekend.

(Poster by Vanessa Hernandez; via Creature Comforts)

25 things.

Do you remember when the "25 Things" thing was popular on Facebook? A few years ago people wrote notes sharing 25 things or secrets about themselves? Well, over a year ago, Cara sent me a message saying she was disappointed because she had tried to find my "25 Things" note and couldn't.

That's because I had never written one.

Of course, she asked me to write one. Even though we're best friends and I can just tell her things, she wanted me to write them in a Facebook note. I told her, "maybe someday." And then, a while later, she asked again. So I promised I would... someday. Honestly, I felt pressured because I wanted to be able to write 25 things she didn't know yet. And she knows a lot.

Anyway, here are 25 things about me. Cara, hopefully there's something here you don't already know:

1. I put hoodies on backwards and then turn them around. Like, I pull it on over my head with the hood in front and then turn it around so the hood's in back and then I put my arms through and pull it down. When I do this in front of people, they always say, "Uhh, that's backwards!" And I say, "Yah, I just do it this way." I used to feel the need to explain, but there is no explanation; it's just how I do it.

2. I call ring tones "ring tunes." Well, I used to anyway. Now I always pause before I say it and mentally correct myself because people made fun of me. (I swear, that's what Rogers used to call them!)

3. I brush my teeth before I get in the shower. I feel dirty if I don't.

4. When I eat popcorn at home, I drink milk with it. I didn't know that was "weird" until a friend told me it was about a year ago. Seriously, there's nothing better than popcorn and a cold glass of milk. Except when I'm at a movie theatre; then it's Pepsi all the way.

5. I do not like the word "hubby." It makes me cringe every time I read/hear it.

6. I prefer thin beach towels to fluffy, thick bath towels.

7. I like black jelly beans, but not black licorice.

8. When I was a kid, I thought the characters on TV could see me. I could see them, so doesn't it make sense that they could see me? And my mom used to help me get dressed in the living room. I didn't like the idea of Zack Morris seeing me in my underwear.

9. I don't like fruit in my salads, not even raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Well, I say that, but I've discovered over the past year that I do like dried cranberries on my salad. And bits of apple. But raspberries and strawberries do NOT belong in salads!

10. When I was in grade 1 (or 2?) my mom made me get a haircut. Short. Like a boy. She said she was tired of having me cry when she brushed the tangles from my hair. Mom, you shoulda just let me grow dreadlocks; you woulda been ahead of the times.

11. I don't mind drinking cold tea or coffee. My friends tease me because I can make a cup of tea or coffee or a latte last forever and drink it cold, no problem.

12. I was scared of escalators until this year. I could go up no problem, but was always nervous going down. (I'm from a small town that doesn't have escalators!) The first time I remember riding an escalator was in grade 4. When I went to New York in grade 12, my friends had to hold my hand and tell me when to step on, but by the end of the long weekend, I could do it by myself. When I moved to Beijing, I realized my fear hadn't left, but I'm okay now! Practice makes perfect, I guess. And you have to face your fears, blah blah blah.

13. I love the smell of diesel fuel; it reminds me of my dad.

14. My first memory is watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer while eating McDonald's pizza.

15. I went through a phase as a kid where I thought the Power Rangers were my friends. Motioning to the air beside me, I would introduce them to people, "This is Jason, and Billy, and Zack, and Kimberly, and Trini!" Luckily (or unfortunately), people usually went along with me.

16. My brother and I had pet guinea pigs. I named mine Wishbone, after the dog from the TV show with the same name.

17. My favourite number is 24. I'm not sure why.

18. My favourite food is spaghetti, hands down. A close second is rice.

19. I hate the feel of chalk. In fact, just thinking about how chalk feels makes me cringe.

20. The first movie I saw in a theatre was The Lion King. The second was Casper.

21. Male celebrity crushes (fictional and non-fictional) have included: Patrick Swayze, Leonardo DiCaprio, Freddie Prinze Jr., Zack Morris, Jason and Tommy (the red and green Power Rangers), Sully (from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman), and Gus Pike (from Road to Avonlea).

22. I've had my nose pierced twice. I've also had my belly button pierced, and at one point, I had 7 holes in my ears. Now my only piercings are the first holes in my ears.

23. I believe in karma. At least, I want to, I really want to.

24. I sometimes think too much about the past, but I'm pretty sure I can honestly say I don't have any regrets.

25. I think working for Residence Life in university might be the best decision I've made so far. Or, I suppose, going to St. Thomas was.

illustrations by Anoushka Matus.

Yesterday was a really good mail day. Besides a Christmas present from Cara, I also got these awesome postcards from Swiss illustrator Anoushka Matus. As soon as I saw the fan illustration, I knew I wanted it to hang in my apartment. I thought: 

"That's me! I've stood naked in front of a fan on hot days SO many times! I want that drawing to hang in my apartment! Is that appropriate? Will people be offended? Will they get it?"*

And then I thought of the nude cartoonish illustrations of a man and woman my mom had hanging in our bathroom when I was a kid. She told me that she had bought them one day when she was with her dad. (Or he had bought them for her? Mom?) She said she just had to have them. As a kid, I couldn't decide if they were cool or gross. But now I understand -- they were art. And I had to have this illustration.

I emailed Anoushka to ask if she had prints available and she emailed me back saying she would send me postcards and let me know when prints come out! For now, the 2 postcards above are hanging in my living room (I need to get frames), but I will definitely buy prints if she makes them. 

AND! I thought I could do a tiny giveaway to pass on her generosity and art. If you want the 2 postcards below, leave a comment and I'll randomly choose a winner next week. (Make sure to leave your email address so I can contact you for your address!)

(Art by Anoushka Matus)

*Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Because #1, it's my apartment and #2, when I showed the postcards to a friend, she said "That's me!" to each of them.

(Update: According to random.org, Annie is the winner of the postcards!)

i'm going to boston!

Cara, my best friend from Vermont, is living in Boston right now, getting her Masters and teaching at an all-boys school. I'm going to visit her this summer and I'm so excited about it, even though it's months away! I've already looked up the price of bus tickets, made my mom promise she'll drive me to the bus station (thanks, Mom!), and started making plans with Cara.

So far, we've talked about seeing a Red Sox game, eating guacamole on her rooftop, going on a tour at the Sam Adams Brewery, watching The Newsroom, visiting Cape Cod, drinking Vermont Woodchuck Hard Cider... and the list keeps growing. I can't wait to meet her friends and see where she lives and teaches. Most of all, I can't wait to see her!

And then today, I received my Christmas present from Cara in the mail. The card said:

"Last year I asked you to make the yule tide gay. I asked you to let your heart be light. This year I remind you that faithful friends who are dear to us will gather near to us once more. I send this gift to you with that promise in my heart. I know you sometimes have trouble knowing what to pack when you go on vacation so I'm telling you now to pack this hat in your suitcase when you come to Boston because I'm taking you to Fenway Park. Merry Christmas, Amanda!"

I think I'm more excited about going to Boston than I am about going to Thailand(!).

nyc sunrise.

If this photo doesn't make you want to pack your bags and head to New York City, I don't know what will.

(Photo by Kelly Framel)

words for the weekend.

(via Nasty Gal)

State of Wonder by Ann Patchett

State of Wonder by Ann Patchett is probably one of the best books I've ever read.

I wasn't sure when I started reading it. I'm not a science-y person and there is some science-y talk, but the funny thing is, I ended up liking the science-y talk. It was so interesting!

To me, this book was about a big adventure that Dr. Marina Singh goes on to find out what happened to her colleague and friend. It was about going somewhere new, and how you survive, and figure things out, and make things work. It was about persevering and not giving up. It was about finding truths.

It was about people and how strong they (we) are.

I got so caught up in the story and the characters, and I was rooting for every single one of them, even the ones I didn't like that much.

I think part of why I liked the book so much is because I read it in November, not that long after I moved to Beijing. I'm most definitely not living in a jungle with killer everything, but there were a few lines that I just got:

"...her nearly mad desire to be home in time to see the lilacs."

One of the things that I've thought about is that if I'm teaching in China, I won't get to see (and smell) lilacs in the spring. Or the leaves in autumn. And that kinda breaks my heart a little bit.

"'We always feel better heading home,' Dr. Swenson said."

This was in response to Marina saying, "Beautiful" as they were heading into the jungle, although her home was in Minnesota. Perhaps we can feel at home anywhere? Or we have homes in places we don't yet realize?

"The woman lifted her face and shook her head at Marina as if to say, Kids, what can you do?"

I understand now how much can be understood through facial expressions and the smallest gestures. We don't necessarily need words to understand each other.

words for the weekend.

(Print by Emily McDowell; buy it here.)

a look back at 2012.

I wasn't planning on doing a look back at 2012, but then I read Holly's and found myself answering most of the questions in my head so I figured I might as well do so here.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

Flew. Moved to a new country. Walked along the beach with a guy (yah, it was cheesy, but it was really nice, too). Bought and wore leggings. Was a bridesmaid. Ate raw fish and octopus. Ate a scorpion. Enjoyed beer! Visited the Great Wall and the Temple of Heaven. Owned plants and kept them from dying (although a couple appear to be fading). Dealt with an insurance company. Saw Ingrid Michaelson in concert. Rode in a limo. Enjoyed a beach vacation.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make any for this year?

I didn't really make any resolutions for 2012, but I tried to keep this in mind. I think I did really well at the beginning of the year -- I noticed an improvement in my attitude and presumably that was reflected in my actions. By the end of the year I think I was getting bogged down in the little things again, especially after moving to Beijing. So, I suppose it should be my resolution for 2013 as well.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

People I know gave birth -- to some awfully cute babies! -- but no one I'm particularly close to, unless you count favourite bloggers. When my friends start having babies, I will be so over the moon excited!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank God.

5. What countries did you visit?

Finally, I can say I've visited countries other than the US! (Not that I don't love America, because I do, I really do! Cara, you can attest to this.) 2012 was the year I moved to China and visited the Philippines. Other travel highlights included long weekends in Montréal and Vermont.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Not sure if this makes much sense without an explanation -- or maybe it makes more sense without the explanation -- but I want to feel more like myself.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

Surprisingly, there aren't any dates that jump out at me other than graduating with my B.Ed. on July 11th and flying for the first time on August 21st. Not including birthdays, anniversaries, etc. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I'd have to say it was moving to China and being okay. Being more than okay. 

This move included a lot of firsts for me: My first time flying, my first time moving far away, my first time leaving North America, my first time living in a big city, my first time teaching, my first time being away from friends and family for an extended period of time, etc, etc. 

I think my friends and family were/are especially surprised at my... success, I guess I'll call it. Not because they didn't believe in me, but because they know me. I am the type of person who can get pretty stressed/worked up about things. And they knew it would be a lot of firsts.

I am and I'm not surprised about how well I did/am doing. Yah, I've felt some homesickness and I've been stressed and worried about things. But not as much as everyone (including myself) probably thought I would be.

9. What was your biggest failure?

No one thing comes to mind, which is good. Unless there was such a failure that I've completely blocked it out.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major in the sense that I won't be okay, but I dealt with and am dealing with a couple of health issues that I'm not comfortable delving into in a space called sunshine and whimsy. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The first thing that comes to mind is my Kobo. I was so against e-readers, pretty much vowing to never own one... and then I decided to move to China. I read a lot and you can't exactly take a stack of books on a plane with you. Not if you want to have room in your luggage for clothes, a couple hundred tampons, and a handful of deodorants, anyway. So, I bought a Kobo Touch and I love it. (Although I do miss paper books.)

12. Where did most of your money go?
I don't have a spreadsheet or anything, but I'd say most of my money went to St. Thomas for tuition and housing. And a good chunk was probably spent on food and drinks: appetizers and wings and drinks at Snooty, burgers at Relish and the Rogue, meat sticks and rice at No Pork, street food, and lattes at Read's, Second Cup, Starbucks, and Costa Coffee.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Candied dates on a stick! Holiday drinks! Palm trees! TV shows! Blogs! Time with friends! Signing a contract! Ice cream! Sun roofs! Books!

If I'm being honest, though, I didn't get nearly as excited about things as I used to. (Which is part of what I mean in my answer to #6.)

14. What song will always remind you of 2012?
"Carry Me Home" by Hey Rosetta!

15. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer? 
Happier, I think. Fatter, maybe. Richer, financially and in experiences.

16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd read more books. No matter how many books I read, I always want to read more. I wish I'd slept and exercised more. I wish I had appreciated things more, instead of wishing time away.

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. Complaining. Arguing and fighting.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
I was in Boracay. I ate crêpes, drank beer before noon, laid on the beach, swam in the ocean, and ate seafood pasta for dinner while listening to live music.

19. What was your favourite TV program?
The West Wing and Friday Night Lights -- better late than never. Girls. The Newsroom. And Parenthood, always Parenthood.

20. What were your favourite books of the year?
Okay, so here's the thing: I read a lot of books, but am not so good at keeping track of them. I started (kind of) using Goodreads last year so hopefully I'll be able to tell you next year what my favourite books from 2013 were. For 2012, I'd say The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and State of Wonder by Ann Patchett were definitely in my top reads.

21. What was your favourite music from this year?
Ooh boy, this could be a long list. Ingrid Michaelson, Joshua Radin, and Mumford & Sons are always favourites and they all released new albums in 2012. I also discovered Katie Herzig, The Lumineers, and Fun. Random songs I played on repeat included "Devil Town" by Tony Lucca, "It's All Okay" by Julia Stone, "Something Good This Way Comes" by Jakob Dylan, and "Carry Me Home" by Hey Rosetta!, not to mention a ton of old favourites.

22. What were your favourite films of the year?
Apparently I am not good at remembering what I read or watch, at least not off the top of my head. I know I did see some great movies this year. After looking through old blog posts, I can tell you I loved We Bought a Zoo and was pleasantly surprised by 21 Jump Street.

23. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 23 and although it was a good day, I ended up crying at the end of it.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 
Saying no when I wanted to and yes when I wanted to. And knowing which I wanted to say more.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Was I supposed to have a personal fashion concept?

26. What kept you sane?
Family. Friends. Music. Books. Myself. Mostly friends, I think.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012. 
Everything always works out. (So STOP WORRYING!)

(Image is a desktop wallpaper designed by Angela Taguiang, via DesignLoveFest)

how to stress less: a flowchart.

Since a friend tweeted this flowchart over a year ago, I've been able to relax a bit easier. I find myself thinking of it all the time. 

I know it might be easier said than done, but it's so true. 

If you have a strategy that helps you stress less, I'd love to hear it! Please feel free to share in the comments or e-mail me if you'd like to write a guest post.

P.S. More tips on how to stress less.

(Does anyone know who created this flowchart? I'd like to give proper credit.)

new york is always a good idea.

Yes, yes it is. 

And if I hadn't recently started paying off my student loan, I would be buying this print from Sarah Tolzmann's newly open Print Shop. 

She's offering free shipping worldwide(!) until January 13. Which means I could get it shipped for free to Beijing! And yet, I've still managed to not click "Add to Cart." You guys know how much I love New York; I'm showing some serious self-restraint. Surely karma will reward me somehow, right? 

santa found me!

Or rather, my friends and family were good to me, so so good to me. Either way, it's magic. 

All my mail gets sent to school and then the receptionist emails me to let me know I have mail.* I knew that my momma had sent me a package and I knew that at least one friend had popped something in the mail, but I was not expecting the pile that I gleefully picked up today.

I know Christmas is not about stuff. I promise, I know that. But carrying a pile of mail back to my apartment, getting comfortable on my couch, and opening cards and gifts from friends and family made me really happy today. I don't think it's because I now own more things, but because it was a tangible way to see that I was thought of this holiday season.

As I read the words written inside glittery Christmas cards, I could hear the voices of the people I love. I could see them smiling at me, see the way their mouths moves when they talk, the way their noses scrunch or twitch, the way their eyes focus or wander.

As I opened my mom's gifts, it felt like every other Christmas we have spent together. I didn't realize how much a new calendar, underwear, and pyjama pants mean to me. They mean tradition and new beginnings and love.

As I sit here right now, wearing the pyjama pants my momma picked out for me and the cowl she knit for me, I feel like I'm home.

Merry Christmas!

*I never went to summer camp when I was a kid, but I've always had this romanticized idea of a camp counsellor coming into a cabin, holding a stack of envelopes, yelling "Mail call!" I just realized, the subject line "mail at reception" is my own grown-up version. Even without bunk beds and campfires, "Mail call!" is pretty happy.

a cup of kindness yet.

"So the small things came into their own: small acts of helping others, if one could; small ways of making one's own life better: acts of love, acts of tea, acts of laughter. Clever people might laugh at such simplicity, but, she asked herself, what was their own solution?"

- Alexander McCall Smith, The Good Husband of Zebra Drive

Since I got back to Beijing, I've been drinking a lot of tea, probably because I'm craving heat and feel like I need to be soothed. I ended up looking up "tea quotes" and added a bunch to my Tumblr. The one above is my favourite, though. 

words for the weekend.

home sweet home.

I'm hooome! And who would have thought that I'd title a blog post "Home Sweet Home" in reference to Beijing? Not I, my friends, not I, and yet, that is exactly what I've done. 

I had an amazing time in Boracay. A really truly, wonderful, amazing time. But, as the end of my vacation was drawing nearer, I realized I was missing Beijing. Parts of it, at least. I wanted to sleep in my own bed and enjoy a shower with hard water pressure. I was missing my friends and wanted to hear their vacation stories. And I was missing the food: dumplings, rice, meat sticks, noodles. 

Of course, I enjoyed laying on a beach, I made new friends, and I ate lots of delicious food in Boracay, but it's not home. And I realized Beijing is for me now. And that's good.

I'm ashamed to admit this, but when I got on the plane last night to travel from Manila to Beijing, I was not a happy camper. I was surrounded by people speaking Chinese (which can sound very harsh), people were pushy and not apologizing, and I knew we were headed towards (much) colder temperatures. 

But then when we landed, a Chinese man helped me get my bag from the overhead bin. And the taxi driver turned the meter on and was friendly. And as we were on the highway driving towards our apartment, I sighed contentedly and thought, "I'm home." 

As soon as we were dropped off, before we even went to the apartment, we tried to go to our "regular spot," a restaurant we call "No Pork Palace." It was closed, which shouldn't have surprised us; it was 1:30AM, after all.

Perhaps that made it all the much better when a group of us went for lunch today. We ordered so much food and laughed and talked and drank pear juice and exclaimed about how we had missed each other and No Pork and chopsticks.

I was SO happy to be there. And I think the people who own/work there were happy we were there, too. (Two of them are in the first picture, above. They actually came over to take our picture with their phone, so I decided we should have a group photo with them.)

Home sweet home.

P.S. While I was traveling home yesterday, I couldn't help but think of these "words for the weekend."

P.P.S. Yes, that is a photo of our bill and the total is 266 RMB. Which is $42 CAD. Which worked out to be $6 each. For 3 orders of vinegar peanuts, 40 meat sticks, 8 pieces of spicy bread, kung pao chicken, 2 orders of rice, 2 egg dishes, a meat and tofu dish, an order of beef, and a vegetable dish. I love China.

P.P.P.S. Expect lots of photos and details about Boracay soon!