resolved.

Sorry for the radio silence for the past oh, you know, THREE WEEKS!

I’ve just been bogged down with setting up a new apartment, a new classroom, getting used to a new routine, new people—colleagues, friends, students. Mostly, I've been busy feeling overwhelmed and lost.

I keep wondering, how do teachers with kids do it?! I'm struggling to keep my fish and plants alive! And the thing is, I mean that in a half-joking way, but the other half is totally serious. Please, share your secrets!!

I’m at the school no later than 7:40, sometimes earlier than that. I usually don’t leave until 5 or after, sometimes much later than that. I’ve gone in every weekend. And I know, I know, this is the life of a teacher, especially a first year teacher. I’m not complaining, just stating facts.

I go to school every morning and usually I feel ready to take on a new day, positive it’s going to be great. On the mornings I don't feel that way, it changes as soon as I see one of my students. I light up. I love them. I do.

My mood shifts a hundred times each day. Resolved. Cheerful. Happy. Grumpy. Tired. Lost. Happy. Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Relieved. Happy.

Yesterday was no different.

And this morning, I woke up at 5:30 to the sound of thunder and saw flashes of light. I expected to walk to school in the rain. I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped outside to puddles on the ground, but no raindrops falling. I was even more pleasantly surprised to look up and see a blue sky and white clouds. And then I kept walking and the sky was gray. But then I turned a corner and there was the blue and white again. A metaphor, I thought. Yes, I thought. Today is going to be a good day. I am going to be cheerful and have my shit together. 

Resolved.