Thursday, September 29, 2011

on adulthood.

On her blog the other day, Maggie wrote the following:

"I've felt lonely often over the last few years, but in many ways that feeling has ushered me into adulthood. That night, alone in my room, I knew it was time for me to do certain things for myself, that it was ok to stop waiting for anyone to take care of me or protect me. I've got this." 

I read this and thought, "Yes!" Her words resonated with me. 

I feel as though I am transitioning into adulthood, not solely because of my age, but because of what I do, how I think, and how I feel. I need independence. I crave independence. I don't want to be alone, but I want to know that I can be alone and be successful. I want to know that "I've got this."

Last year, I told a friend that being alone was my biggest fear. Not romantically alone (although I hope I won't be), but just in general. I like knowing that if I need help, need someone to talk to, to laugh with, to just be with, someone is there. 

To me, adulthood is finding a balance. A balance of doing things for yourself, but knowing when and how to ask for help. A balance of being alone and being with other people. A balance of many other things...

I'm finding my balance.

What do you think adulthood is?


  1. I just wrote a really good response, but the Blogger log-in system is pretty dumb so it got deleted.

    Basically it came down to this: There is no such thing as adulthood. It's not a point nor destination. I used to think that people 'grew up' at some point and then they were certified adults. What I discovered is that the older ones were just... older.
    We have all the capabilities and responsibilities and opportunities now if we choose to notice them. The world has opened itself before us like no generation in the history of this civilization. It's just for us to realize that this is our time, and seize that diem as it were.

  2. Adulthood is an ever-evolving state of mind and experience. I am moving close to my 35th birthday. I have a fifteen- and a six-year old. I have been married for many years. I own a home, have a full time job, and went to college. I have lost two parents, have nieces and nephews, friends, acquaintances and the like. I have been growing into my adulthood for a good long time, and for me, I have only felt MYSELF in the last two months. I have only felt that I have taken charge of my adulthood lately, although I have worked hard to control and define myself as an adult for at least 15 years. It is through the ups and downs, the burgeoning of my almost adult child, the evolution of marriage, the letting go of control and letting be what should be, that has truly made me feel like I am wise enough to be called an adult. We are all kids and adults wrapped together at any given moment, and we are changing and growing and taking steps back all the time. I think this is the nature of the beast and I think that the more aware we are of what kind of PERSON we want to be, the better equipped we are as we ebb and flow in and out of adulthood ideals.
    But, for the record, I think you, Miss Amanda, are well on your way to becoming and being a really fantastic, well-rounded adult: a veritable role model for so many other young people in the world.

  3. I agree with both of you that adulthood is not static, or a point or destination.

    Alex - I like this point that you made: "We have all the capabilities and responsibilities and opportunities now if we choose to notice them."

    Free bird - I SO agree with and love this point: "The more aware we are of what kind of PERSON we want to be, the better equipped we are as we ebb and flow in and out of adulthood ideals." I am writing that in my journal ASAP! And thank you for your kind words :)

    Thank you both for sharing your opinions!

  4. For a long time my misguided perception of adulthood was founded on the basis of independence and competency. I figured anything I could do “by myself” stood as a testimony to my maturity.

    When I earned my driver’s license during the spring of my junior year of high school I was certain the plastic card they gave me at the DMV was a fool proof symbol of my newfound independence.

    I wasn’t an adult yet (not by a long shot) but I fancied I could go anywhere I wanted.

    I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone.

    Being an adult isn’t about not having to answer to anyone, though. It’s about choosing to answer to everyone. It’s about holding yourself accountable to the relationships you’re a part of and the people that you care about.

    I no longer think my maturity is defined by the things I have the ability to do. My maturity is defined by the reasons I have for doing them. If I do something FOR someone (and this on occasion includes things I do for myself) then it almost undoubtedly was worth the time and the effort I put into it and is far more likely to advance my personal development towards the kind of “adult” I want to be.


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