Friday, February 14, 2014

happy (grateful) friday!

I've still been feeling blah. So blah, that it's got to the point that I've talked to Tony about it and a few friends and told them that I think I might be mildly depressed. I just can't seem to get out of this funk, which has lasted for more than two years so it's got to be more than a funk, right? And in grade nine, I felt similar to this, but way worse, and was actually diagnosed with Depression (and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Last week, it got so bad that Tony and I ended up having our biggest fight yet and I ended up crying so hard and by the end of it all I was literally sobbing in his arms. When I was finally calmed down, I told him that I wanted to try harder to do the things that used to make me happy, the things that made me feel like me. Because I haven't felt like myself in a long time. 

So I have been. And surprisingly, this week (my first week back to school after a two-week vacation, when you'd think I'd be experiencing the back-to-school-blahs), I've started to feel better. What have I been doing? 

Listening to music. Every morning while I'm getting ready, I listen to Songza or put my iTunes on shuffle. I also like to do this during my prep periods when I'm sitting in my classroom alone. 

Drinking coffee. At least one a day. 

Reading. Not just blogs, but I'm reading a novel! I used to read books all. the. time. Before I went to bed at night, in spare minutes between classes, on breaks at work, on the bus. Since Sunday, every night, no matter how tired I am, I've been reading a bit on my Kobo. Tuesday night I only read one page! But it's better than nothing and I love it!

Writing in my journal. I also used to write a lot in my journal. And then I stopped. Or slowed way down anyway. But I've always wanted to keep up that habit and I kept reading about how writing down just a few things that you're grateful for each day can help you be happier, so that's what I've been doing every night before reading. Sometimes it's hard to come up with even one thing, but once I do, things to be grateful for seem to flood my mind. 


So... because I also miss writing my "Happy Friday" posts that made me happier and seemed to make other people happier, I decided to share some of the things that I was grateful for this week, exactly as I wrote them in my journal:

+ It was after 5PM and Tony said, "Look, the days are getting longer" as he pointed out the window. This made me SO happy. How did I not notice this?

+ Our new — super cheap — shower curtain from IKEA that we cut a few inches off of so it would fit better in our small (short) shower. Small things make a BIG difference.

+ Jar full of the sunflower seeds that Tony's dad gave us.

+ Seeing The Lumineers in concert.

+ When they asked the audience to put away their phones and cameras.

+ That I brought tissue with me to the concert. (Bathroom was gross and no TP.)

+ Colleagues to talk to, get advice from, and laugh with.

Please tell me what made you happy this week and/or what you were grateful for!

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day!

3 comments:

  1. This is going to sound ridiculous, but thinking about you and your blog kinda made me have an amazing Wednesday...
    Xoxo my sweet! Sorry I'm the worst possible friend alive at keeping in touch or even in tabs... even in you know... hey, I'm alive and well standards... but you do seem to crop up in my day to day from time to time.

    Wishing you the best, hoping that this funk turns into the actual fnk and you can just boogie your way into good times.
    Muah!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is going to sound ridiculous, but thinking about you and your blog kinda made me have an amazing Wednesday...
    Xoxo my sweet! Sorry I'm the worst possible friend alive at keeping in touch or even in tabs... even in you know... hey, I'm alive and well standards... but you do seem to crop up in my day to day from time to time.

    Wishing you the best, hoping that this funk turns into the actual fnk and you can just boogie your way into good times.
    Muah!

    ReplyDelete

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