Wednesday, January 11, 2012

what's the point?

Maybe you're friends first or maybe you fall in love right away.

You grow closer. You exchange smiles and shy glances. Hopeful smiles and glances. There are phone calls and text messages. Plans are made.

You go for drives. Cuddle. Play board games and stay up all night talking. Wake up earlier so you have more time together. You share stories. You hug and kiss and are intimate. You give compliments and think so highly of each other. You're constantly in one another's thoughts. You read to each other and watch movies together. Play in the snow. You fall asleep, your limbs entwined. You open up and make yourself vulnerable. You begin to have hopes and dreams for the future. You remember things and try to surprise each other.

It's all so wonderful and you hope it will last forever.

But nothing ever stays the same.

Instead, you go to bed earlier and sleep in later. The phone calls lessen and the texts become shorter. The touches are more infrequent and less intimate. You're sharing fewer stories and watching more television. You begin to feel uncomfortable. Unwelcome. You aren't playing anymore, you're wondering and asking questions. You're still sleeping together but it's as if there's a line you're not supposed to cross. It feels as though things are ending and you're wondering, what now?

Things end. What was the point?

What is the point?

The point is it happened. You were excited and hopeful. Happy and comfortable. You had something to look forward to. You enjoyed it while it lasted. It may be over now but you learned from it. You learned what you like and what you don't like. What you want more of and what you want less of. You learned more about who you are and who you're looking for.

It's over but it was worth it. And now you know what is possible. You keep going, keep living. You know that there is something else to look forward to. Someone else to look forward to. And it will be even better.

That's the point.

Note: I wrote this on December 31st, 2011. That seems significant somehow.


  1. What an amazing post. So beautiful, so poignant and so true. You figured out the point exactly. Nice job.
    Life will bring what you need at all times...maybe not what you want, but certainly what you need.

  2. I love this post. I don't even know what to say about it. But it feels important.

  3. Thank you both for your kind words! And Dalyce, you are so right, you always get what you need.

  4. This is one of those posts that leaves you speechless. Where you don't know how to begin what you want to say - or even figure out how to express what you want to say. I'm probably making very little sense, but I just want you to know that I think you are a beautiful writer. You write very powerfully and write about meaningful subjects.

    Thank you so much for sharing this with the blogging world :)

  5. Melissa, your comment means so much. Thank you for taking the time to read what I write and giving me feedback.

  6. The point in the relationship when you realize things have changed is hard to accept and even harder is to view the ending of things as positive. I think if you are able to do that then you are a very optimistic person and that is a quality I lack in myself.

    I loved reading this Amanda.

  7. Sara, you hit the nail on the head. It is hard to accept and it can definitely be hard to view as positive. I struggle with it (and still do at times!) but I try to be optimistic. And I don't think you lack that quality! I don't think you would be where you are now if you did!

    Thank you for reading!


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